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All right, back to the show. Hey, what's up, everybody? This is Whiskey Web and Whatnot with your hosts, Robbie the Wagner and Adam Thomas Argyle, the nerd. You are absolutely right, Robbie. I can't believe it. You're so right. That was the most right thing you've ever said. I can't believe it. It's awesome. Oh, yes. The voice of AI there. Yeah. So we just got back from React Miami. If you listened to a bunch of the previous episodes before this one, they were all live from React Miami. We are now not live from there. Whew. That was, dude, that was exhausting. It was like waking up at 4 a.m., you know, my home time, going to sleep at, I guess, 10 o'clock or 11 o'clock home time.
But still, that was hard work. I loved it, though. So many good memories hanging out with all those folks. Yeah, yeah, a lot of fun, definitely a lot of talking and podcasting, a lot of teeny tiny foods and never being that full. I was so happy that one time when I was like, I'm eating before we go there because I know I'm just going to hold food and I'm going to hold the two tiny pieces of food and never eat them. And that's exactly what I did. You snuck in some pie, though. You ate a piece of pizza. That was good. You might have done pizza and pie. Pizza and pie, yeah. Well, yeah, Dax's party had really good catering.
Shout out to Dax. You should still come on the show. But yeah, it was it was next level. Like I think it was called Hostly was like the company that did it. And yeah, I would definitely use them if I were hosting something like that because I handled everything. It's great. Yeah, that was really cool. Cool people there. I loved the vibe. I liked it. Occasionally, I got, like, mildly rained on. I was like, I just felt two drops. And then you look around, and it's sunny. And then, like, more drops fell on me. It's like, are the trees sneezing? Like, what? But it felt good. I loved it. Yeah. It must just be too humid.
Like, it can't hold the moisture in the air. So, it just falls. Just falls. All right. So... Yeah, we're not going to talk that much about the whiskey because we do it at the end now, but this is a fun one. Glenn Morangi, A Tale of Ice Cream. I thoroughly enjoyed like looking up the fun little facts. Like the Hick way to say it, but whatever. Yeah, Glen Morangi. Yeah, that's what I was saying in my mind also. But this was like, I liked this little fact. Dr. Bill Lumsden, who's a biochemist trained whiskey creator. There's no artificial flavoring in this. It's just the way that he smoked and toasted things in the different woods that he chose that give it an ice cream vibe.
So he's hoping it tastes like ice cream. It smells very, like just from pouring it, it smells like vanilla. Yeah. Oh, yeah, a lot of vanilla. Oh, good. It's like oversold that it's ice cream-y. I was a little worried. Let's see. Yeah, I mean, it's very vanilla-y, but it's, yeah, I feel like it's like a normal scotch, but it has like a scoop of vanilla ice cream floating in it, like a scotch float, you know, as you do. Scotchy float. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Oh man, it was fun hanging out with Robbie again in person. Because we'd hung out a couple times, but a couple days, I didn't get sick yet.
Thanks for that. I would have told you. I would have been like, Robbie, you need to give me some space. I felt I didn't have to do that. So, nice. Yeah. Yeah. It was a good time. Um, met a lot of cool people. Thanks again to clerk for having us out, uh, hung out at their booth and yeah, I guess next will be Cascadia. We'll be doing Cascadia JS and like a month, about a month from now. So I guess we should maybe plan some stuff, huh? Well, I've been, I've been thinking about the notes. I kind of started them a little bit. Um, but yeah. Nice. Yeah, I looked at all the speakers and there's some good talks, but there's not as many speakers that I knew ahead of time.
So I don't know if I have as many fun intros as I thought I could. But yeah, it'll still be good. Nice. You'll get there. You'll get there. All right. So today I thought we would be somewhat whatnot-y and talk about kind of our origin stories slash entrepreneurial endeavors we've done, etc. Because you had mentioned the other day something about like selling guppies, I think. And I was like, I want to hear more about the things you've done. Dude, when I was 15, I called myself a fish pimp. I thought it was so funny. And then I tried to become a bird pimp also. But anyway, yes, I digress. We both realized that we were decently entrepreneurial kids.
I don't think we're like, you know, I didn't start a, you know, some big business and have an LLC when I was 16. But I wanted stuff. I wanted things. And my family didn't have a ton of money. And so I was going to go earn it. And I was like, I'll just try what I can. So you did the same. Yeah. Yeah. The earliest thing I remember was third grade. I had, um, I had like a water bottle and I emptied it out and I put, um, Altoids and water in it was basically all it was. I think maybe some food coloring or something. It might've been blue. I forget. And I called it pepto menthol or pepto menthol or something.
I forget what it was. And I had this ruler that I had had all these like stencil things on it. And so I did like a fun logo from like using all the shapes from that. And then I sold it for like a quarter, a little like shot to like kids. And I remember the teacher coming in when I was doing it and she was like, um one like what are you doing and two there yeah two like uh have is this sanitary like have you drank out of this like what I don't know I forget she had a bunch of questions like that and I was like oh no it's fine and she's like you're right it's fine dang that's awesome that's quite entrepreneurial um a little little shysty but you know what it's all good yeah
I mean, I had several things like that and I can't remember them all, but another one at school. So I used to like only wear the Hot Topic pants and like be like, you know, want to be goth. Yeah, trip pants. Oh, nice. Dang. I never had those. I was, I just felt not cool enough for them or something. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I certainly wasn't cool enough for them, but I wore them. I want to see pictures of you in trip pants now. I'm excited. There probably are some. But I had kids pay me to, like, I was like, how much would you pay me to come to school, like, instead of my normal clothes, like, you know, dressed super nerdy, like,
you know, really tight, really high up pants with suspenders and like, you know, whole nerd outfit. And I think I got like a hundred bucks for that, like a bunch of kids. And I was like, this is the easiest money ever. This is so stupid. We had a day like that. Uh, and I was always happy to do it. And it was called like weirdo day or something like that. And Oh, yeah, I'd come in and just the tiniest to close with a random tie, half my hair up the other half down. And I loved it. I was like, yeah, let's be weird more. This is cool. Nice. Yeah. Yes. I want to hear more about I mean, I have more stuff like, you know, as I was becoming a young adult type of stuff.
But I want to hear about more stuff that you had as like the younger stuff. The younger stuff. Yeah. Well, my mom made me a child model. So I don't know if we talked about that, but some of the first money. Yeah. I didn't even get asked if I wanted to. Like clothing brands or like Sears? Clothing brands at first and then Nintendo. So the cool one was Nintendo, but the non-cool ones were like Bon Marche and Le Mans. Do you remember those clothing stores? Yeah. uh chach no hotch cotch chach scotch and bagotch what was that one oshkosh oshkosh and bagosh oh man geez how could you forget that word but yeah my mom didn't even ask me she was just like i'm taking you somewhere to go see if you get this job thing i'm like all right whatever and i show up and i got i got the first one or whatever uh for bon marchais i remember it and they put me in these clothes and they were huge they're just humongous clothes and they had to like
fake make them fit me uh and i remember feeling ridiculous i was like i look ridiculous and then they um you know i finally got the print out of what it looked like and there was me next to two other people the clothes looked huge but they actually looked like kind of normal i was like dang they did a good job making that not look so shitty i was a really like the pants didn't even fit No, it was just, yeah, so there's like one size of pants and one humongous T-shirt. And they were like, here's what you're wearing. So my early money was like child model money. But it was really, it was like not a lot.
And I don't think I even kept that. My parents took that. The classic story, right? My mom's like, you're working for me now. Yeah, like you get an ice cream on the way home. Yeah. The Nintendo ads, though, those were cool. Those did go into a bank account and save those helped me buy my first car. So that's how I bought my first car when I was 16. But now when I was 14 and 13, yeah, I was breeding. I liked pets. I liked raising lizards and snakes and fish. And we had a couple of birds in the house for a while. And I always liked it. And I bought some guppies once. And noticed that they just kind of bred.
I didn't even do anything. And I remember one of my source guppies, my favorite one was a leopard guppy. I was like, man, he's so cool. Make more leopard guppies, dude. And then, so then eventually I had like 100 guppies in a tank. And I went to the local pet store with a baggie full of guppies, just like super. I'm just a kid walking to the store with guppies in a bag. I don't even think I knew how many were in there. I was like, I just scooped them up and put them in there. I was like, hey, I got a bag of guppies. I'll sell them to you. And they were like, we will buy your guppies. I was like.
Perfect. I think I made like 50 bucks on my guppies and I was like, sweet, now I'm a guppy pimp. And I would like to be more of a guppy pimp because that was pretty easy. And I tried to, yeah, like I said, try to get into fish or bird pimping and failed that one. One of the birds pecked itself. Yeah, that sounds harder because like transporting them, you can't just have a bag. You got to have a bag. But I love the, like, imagery, all these different animals. I'm just imagining, like, a lot of them would eat the other ones if you gave them the chance. I feel like that could be difficult. Yeah, I mean, pet stores are all like that.
You're like, they're just one escape away from eating each other. That's true, I guess. Never thought about it like that. But yeah, and then I did normal stuff like I mowed lawns. I mowed a lot of lawns and I made printouts. And I mowed quick. I mowed good. You know, I was like, I was a hard worker as a kid because I liked money. It was all for money, basically. I was like, I need money to go buy cool things. So yeah. yeah I used to um I don't think I did stuff for like other people a lot so my dad had like a rental property um that we would go like work on sometimes um so he would pay me to do that and like so I put up like drywall and did like electric work and like you know no permits of course but like yeah child labor force
Yeah. So like the, uh, it's fun. Cause so he just sold that house actually. Um, so it's been, you know, decades and it's fun when they go to inspect stuff and they're like, Hey, did, uh, did the town know you put like this new electric stuff in here? We're like, uh, no, like, and it's fine. Um, I mean, what are they going to do now? But Yeah. So I did a lot of that. Like, I feel like I did a lot of little random stuff. We did some plumbing stuff, which was fun. Like you would, um, I don't know if you've ever, um, like put in a new water line, like not just the line, but like the pipe. You have to like, so like you have to take, I think maybe we had to like saw it all.
I forget exactly what we were doing, honestly. So we had to like put a new pipe onto another pipe. I guess you had to stuff bread in there is like the trick because when you turn the water on, the bread will just blow out and go away. Like it disintegrates. But if you stuff something else in there, it might not come out. I don't know. So that's to keep it from like the water from coming out. So it'll say dry time. Like it'll be, it'll be one minute that we have with until the bread gave us something like that. No, no, no. It's not holding the water. It's like, um, it just soaks up residual water so that you can solder and it's dry.
Oh, so like, so we did that solder to thing on. Yeah. I don't know. I was probably like 12 at this point. So I don't remember all the details, but I remember the bread and that being like hilarious. You turn it on and the bread shot all over the bathroom when you were done. Um, so that was cool. Um, yeah, what else did I do? I don't know. So, yeah, I feel like the area where we probably start to converge some is like being in bands and like MySpace layouts or like... MySpace pages. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tell me about your experiences there. Sure. But I'm like reminded by, because I have a fresh new piercing every one.
I pierced my eyebrow in Miami. But one of the dumbest things I spent my hard-earned money on was nipple piercings when I was 15. Yeah. And I was like, surely I'll hide these from my parents. They never see my nipples. And then I was a dork punk kid that wore a bunch of tight shirts around. So it didn't take long before they were like, something's weird right there. It's weird right there. Show us what's weird right there. And I'm like, no, it's all good. It's just it's cold or stuff. And they're like, that's not what cold looks like. Anyway, I totally got caught. I had to put them in my dad's hand.
And he got in the car and drove away and just threw him out the window. And I just remember watching my nipple piercings just go out the window. And I was like, oh, man, that cost me like 80 bucks. I mowed a lot of lawns to get those, you know. Dang it. oh man yeah i got my uh my one tattoo that we talked about and um my dad didn't know about it for like over a year afterwards which is hilarious um like my uncle got such a kick out of it like because i guess we uh But like he found out around the same time and he was like, wait, you've had that for a year and your dad didn't know. And he was just like, ha ha ha ha.
Oh man. So yeah, I mean, it's, uh, my dad doesn't like tattoos and piercings. So yeah, I was trying to, to hide it from him. Most dads don't. Yep. I had a tattoo I was hiding also. Okay, so yeah. So bands and Myspace and stuff. So the first band that I started was called... That's so stupid. I loved Superman. And I used to... Okay, I'll just leave it there before I embarrass myself anymore. I liked Superman a lot. So the first band was called Superband. Superband. which was already a band name, it turns out. Also, they're like a funk band from the 70s or something like that. Anyway, we took it anyway, and we were a pop punk band, super band.
And I found a drummer and guitarists from the music store that I would go to to buy various gear and stuff. The cool thing that I did, though, at that time was I modified my guitar. Oh, it's the one behind me. It's a super junky guitar, but I custom soldered in my own pickup. So I bought a nice pickup. So again, I worked hard. I bought a pickup for $100 or something like that. It's a double-stacked humbucker, I think. Anyway, put that one in there and made my crappy guitar sound really good. And it's like the only thing you need on an electric, right? Is it supposed to be any different with like necks or like, I don't think there's any science to an electric other than the pickup, right?
Like an acoustic can have a lot of different sounds, but. Yeah, I think you're right. And so, yeah, that was Superband was our pop punk band. We had hits that were pretty much songs about school and girls, you know, one of them was... As you do. Yeah, you don't need, you don't, I don't, I didn't need you. I think it was one, something, something like that. But yeah, pretty funny. How about you? I did everything in Fruity Loops. So I recorded us all. Oh, nice. And then took us into Fruity Loops and, you know, did my own crappy mastering or whatever and exported a three song EP, if I remember right.
Yeah, what kind of recording equipment were you using? just the mic on a computer. I didn't have real mics or anything. I even think our drums, since I couldn't capture the drums at all because they were just so loud, I did digital drums. And so yeah, Fruity Loops gave me the backing and the bass, and then I put in my own guitar riffs. I think I plugged into the computer through the amp, maybe. So it's like I plugged into the amp into the computer. If you're just using the microphone from the computer for everything, I'm going to say that's going to be impossible to listen to. Yeah. Oh, it wasn't it wasn't that great, but I made do and the songs had some catchy moments to them.
Oh, I remember I had a countdown in the beginning that used the Mac OS voice like the old lady or it sounds like an old lady now, but back then it was like kind of cool. And it was like 10, 9, 8, 7. I remember like playing it to people later and I was like, I shouldn't have done the countdown. This is so stupid. It's like taking so long to get to the song. anyway yeah oh man yeah so that's actually reminds me of something i forgot that i did um that also made me some money so i had like a soundboard with like four and like similar to a roadcaster like four inputs i think came with like four mics um and they were okay at like capturing most sounds so like i would record other bands and stuff and charge them for it
Um, it never sounded very good, but they still paid me. It's okay. Um, cool. You made the memories. Yeah. So I did that and it was like, it was fine. But then like when I was in some actual bands later, um, the one I was in for the longest that did the best was the waking hour. And, um, we went to a recording studio two times. Um, so we have like legit stuff that sounds pretty okay. Um, yeah. And yeah, after that, I was in one or two more bands with like most of the same people. So the the waking hour was a Christian screamo band. Nice. Yeah. Who are you trying to be? Who are your bands you were looking up to?
Well, it depended on like all the different band members had different bands they liked. We had like a little bit of a Southern influence, like some Maylene and the Sons of Disaster, if you're familiar with them. Yes, I still listen to their first album, dude. It's so good. I listen to it today because I remembered about it. dude i loved how they mixed up like a southern vibe into the whole scene uh i'm sad it didn't carry through into his subsequent albums okay anyway sorry love maylene that's good yeah um what else did we listen to at the time I know a couple of them were really into Under Oath, of course.
Yeah, I was in a band that wanted to be Under Oath as well. But we were like, I don't know if this was a thing in other areas. I'm sure it was a thing everywhere, but we were trying to be like, like metal is not cool, but like grindcore, emo, like other like sub genres are cool. So like things that were like very typical medley were like, not cool so we would sometimes play shows with like bands who would like like if you were gonna mosh it was not as cool as like fight dancing you know like those sort of differences yeah i hated the windmill that's when i was like no moshing was way cooler than the stupid windmill i was like y'all need to get out of here with that oh yeah if you're doing it personally moshing is way more fun because you're just shoving everybody around it's easy um
However, we did have this one thing, the wheelbarrow. So someone comes up and grabs your legs and picks you up and you just like punch everybody. And it was like, I love doing that. That is funny. Yeah. Oh, man. I went way more emo on my second band. It was called Wishful Thinking. And it was, I would say... Dashboard Confessionals meets John Mayer. So it wasn't like too cry songy, but it had some like melodicness to it that I thought was kind of cool. And it was definitely all acoustic, very solo project deal. And that was the one that I went into a studio and had a seven track EP. I played all the instruments.
I played drums, bass, guitar. and was singing along with the songs in the car to get ready for the next session to record. And just... started not liking it i was like you know what these songs are fine and i've been playing them a lot like i've been playing on sunset boulevard this is like in la and i was playing some cool places i played knitting factory um and i was just like i don't want to sing these more though like i think i was like outgrowing the songs as i was recording them like the the repetition was just driving me nuts and i was like if i have to play this song five more times i'm really gonna hate it if i have to play it a hundred more times
I'm super going to hate it. I'm like, I've only paid for half of this album. I'm done. And I hit the guy up and I was like, hey, look, I know we're like almost done. And then you do the rest of the stuff and I'm, I'm out. And that was it. And I don't, I don't look back at that at all. Regrettably. In fact, I look back at that and say, that was a good choice. That's when I turned into a fireside guitarist. I was like, I just want to be at the campfire. I got no desire to be on the stage anymore. Yeah. I don't know. I liked playing shows, especially when more than like 10 people come. That's fun.
Did you love the part where you had to watch the other bands play and act like you loved it in the front row? Yes. I actually did. I mean, I like going to shows, so I didn't mind that part. It was like you got to play and go to a show. That's true. It's true. And we were too young to get a drink ticket for at least I was. Yeah, we did one show. Have you heard of Time and Distance? Mm-mm. They were, I think, kind of popular when there was, you know, so many different, like, sites you could put your music on. I forget what site they were popular on, but they were, like, very... No, it wasn't Pure Volume.
Do you remember Pure Volume, though? Yeah. But anyway, they were like very, um, acoustic-y. And then, so we played a show with them and had like a ton of other metal bands playing, which didn't really fit. But there were like a couple hundred people showed up to that one and it was at my church in like this tiny little, um, what do you call it? I don't know. Little room you could rent, I guess. Um. Yeah. And then, yeah, we also used to play at, like, this bar. And so this bar, it was called... What was it called? I don't know. It was called Graystone Tavern when they rebranded it, I think. But it was Shooters first, I think.
Shooters. That makes me think of Happy Gilmore, but okay, cool. Yeah. So like when it was Shooters, you would do, you got to keep all the money from the door. And so like they were just making money off of people coming and like buying drinks. Oh, nice. And I thought it was still like that. And we did a show. Do you know Winter Solstice? Mm-mm. No? Okay. So they're another metal band. Um, but they broke up and made another band called Ghosts of a Fallen Age. And so we were doing a show with them and I wanted to like hype it up. I made all these flyers. I bought like a PA system or whatever you call it.
It's not a PA system when you're using it for music. Um, But so I spent like a thousand bucks on that and then was expecting like the door would have paid for it. But then they came in and they were like, oh, you we don't do that anymore. You give us all the door money because they had rebranded and had new owners. And I was like, oh, shit. Luckily, though, my dad had already put like 500 bucks in his pocket from the door. So we got at least half of it. You're like, hey, this is all we have. Yeah. Yeah. Dang. So that worked out okay. But yeah, that was lesson learned. Always make sure you have in writing who's getting the money.
I always hated the scenarios where they were like, all right, you can play a show here. I'm going to give you 100 tickets and you got to go sell the tickets. And I was like, oh, man, I hated holding them. I was like, this is all this is only money if I can get rid of it. I'm like, oh, my goodness, I'm going to bug all my friends. This is going to suck. Yeah, we did that once. I think it was. It was less, it was maybe like 25 tickets that each band had to sell. So like there were like four or five bands, you know, you'd have like 100 or whatever people if everybody did it. And they required it.
They're like, if you don't sell those, you can't play. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And so we just showed up and fronted all the money. We didn't sell a single ticket. We just gave them the money. Oh, damn. Nice. And so they were like, there was like no one there. So a couple of the other bands just said, hey, we couldn't sell any tickets. Like they were upfront about it. And they were like, yeah, I don't know what's going on, but there's like no one here. We have these like national touring bands and there's like no one to watch them. But since you guys sold all your tickets, you can play right before them.
Wow, sick. Yeah. So like we bamboozled them there. But yeah, I hated that because it was like it was never in like your backyard. It was like a so it was up like where I live now, kind of. So it was like hours away from our hometown. We couldn't like sell those tickets. Like, who are you going to sell them to? Yeah. Yeah. You got to know, folks. Oh man, one of my favorite songs that I did with the pop punk band though is I would take country songs and pop punk them. This was like even before I knew Me First and the Gimme Gimme's. And my favorite one was She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy by Kenny Chesney.
And that made such a good pop punk song. It was awesome. So I think back very fondly to all the stages that I played that song on. I thought that was good. Nice. Have you heard any of, is it Alex Melton, I want to say? Have you heard any of his stuff? No. Let me pull it up. He has a lot of covers. Yeah, he covers like country stuff and John Mayer stuff and makes them all pop punk. Does like every instrument himself. He has a real album now. I think he finally signed with the label recently. Cool. Yeah, I see him on here. I'm jealous already. Like, damn it, I want to do that. Yeah. If he's good.
Well, I'll find out later. He's pretty good. The John Mayer one is good. It lends itself very well to pop punk. Yeah, so many do. That's why that genre is so fun. Yeah. Yeah, still a warm spot in my heart for pop punk. Not as much streamo or metal. I'll listen to, like, I'll listen to Maylene. To me, they had a niche that I can revisit, but I haven't even listened to Under Oath in probably 10 years, dude. Yeah, I'm not diving into, like, grindcore as much anymore. Yeah, what was the, like, If Blood Runs Black or something like that? Or As Blood Runs Black. Did you ever listen to them? No. They have some good ones.
Like, if you're wanting to, like, run on a treadmill... Like, I feel like that stuff can get you in the mood for that, like, depending on the band and the song. But yeah, otherwise, I'm not like, you know, it just sounds lovely to listen to. I'm definitely not just listening to it for fun. So, I mean, I just like showing my kids all sorts of stuff. So I'm like, here's a Treyu, kids. Here's As They Lay Dying. You know, and that's just fun. It's just fun to pull out some of those old ones. I also got out of the metal screamo genre in 2006. So I was a little early escaping it. Right, right when it stopped being good?
That's what I say, but my spouse says otherwise. She's like, you missed Bullet for my Valentine. I'm like, I didn't miss them. They were part of what ruined the genre. Oh, see. Well, wait, I was born in 86. When were you born? 90. 90. Oh, okay, so there you go. I'm like a little bit older to me. This was like some of it was getting played out already. I just, and I got into hip hop. I started listening to MF Doom and Sage Francis and Aesop Rock and Atmosphere. And I was like, holy shit. I could listen to these guys say the revisiting of a song was way better than revisiting metal. Like metal, I was like, the drums are so good.
I'm like, the drummer is the lead singer of the whole band, you know, like. But then I'd be like, yeah, but they're pretty stuck in their genre. It's a pretty narrow space to be is these different metal genres. And hip hop just had this range. And what the MC brought to it just anyway. So I got wildly obsessed and kind of completely ditched. uh the metal genre except metal apocalypse i would watch that tv show all the time and just loved them over and over again so good Nice. So your rap album is going to drop soon? Is that what you're saying? I can't rap. I try to so many times. I mean, wait, we had a, yeah, we just had Shaw on and he replayed some like rap attempts.
Well, that was me quoting Big Block Sing Song, which is a little child's rapping. But I admire rappers and don't feel like I can do it. Where the difference was with pop punk, I felt like I could do it. With Under Oath, I thought I could do it. Yeah. It felt more approachable than hip hop for some reason. Yeah, you need a special voice for hip hop. Also, like, you have to be really quick on your feet. And I feel like I don't have either of those. So, yeah, there's a precision, too. Like, and Dale the Funky Homo Sapien is like one of the first people I heard call it out. He's like. I'll listen, I'll hear your micro failures.
He's like, you think you were on time and you weren't, man. And he's like, and you can't do it twice. Maybe you hit it once, but you won't get it the second time. And then how many rap quotes did you hear me make while we were in Miami? Many. Many. Many. The lyrics that these people dropped are so memorable. One of them was cheesy though. I remember quoting Super Commuter, shout out Super Commuter. They're a Seattle nerdcore band. Oh dude, nerdcore. So there you go. So eventually I got into like more niche hip hop and learned that there's like people that rapped over Game Boys and they would take the old songs from the 80s video games and then rap over those.
And I was like, that's a thing? That's amazing. I love video games. I loved all the video game music. And I was like, they love it too, so much that they're rapping. And they would take on personas. And anyway, I feel like I'm changing the topic from our trajectories. But yeah, anyway. No, no, it goes where it goes. Yeah. So I got the analog pocket, the like new Game Boy. Yeah. Because one of the things that advertised was like, you can just like make beats in there. Like, you know, use the Game Boy sound, but like make music. I haven't actually tried it at all. but uh it sounds cool i feel i can't try anything i was telling you this i bought a metroid and haven't even unwrapped it because like man i don't have time for fun things yeah same i've played i've been playing slay the spire but i haven't touched it in over a week and a half i also it's like one of those things where like i gotta beat it it's really hard i gotta beat it i gotta beat it and then i beat it and i was like all right well it's dead to me now i'm like sometimes i hate beating a video video game
You know, like, there's so much fire underneath your ass until you beat it. And then you're like, cool. I guess I'll, because I'm also not an accomplishment person where I have to go get every little, little award. I'm not a completionist, no. Yeah, no. But I do remember, like, I want to say Zelda, like Ocarina of Time, if you beat it, you were just done, right? Like, it wouldn't let you run around afterwards. So I think I had a save, like, right before the end where I could just keep loading and go do other stuff. Yeah, Metroid, I think, was like that, too. So, yeah, before you beat it, you're like, I know the final boss is in that room, and I'm going to go wander around with all my superpowers and kick a bunch of ass and see if I can find some secrets.
Yep. Yeah, I think that was the last time I cared about completing stuff. Now I'm like, games are also just too big. Like, you know, they spend six years building a game that's like, you can travel everywhere in space. And it's like, okay, that sounds like too much to do. Like, I appreciate that it's a longer game, but yeah, it's, I play like, you know, any game like that, like anything Elder Scrolls or, what do you call that? Yeah. what is the like Bethesda games that do all of the like open world. Yeah. Yeah. So like all of those are really fun. I usually like to do the like side quests of like whatever the thief, thieves, thieves guild equivalent is.
Um, and then I'm done. I'm just like, I don't have time for the rest of this. Yeah, some games, it's like I remember listening to someone too who was like, back in the day, you would buy a video game and all of it was unlocked to you. And you could just play the portions of the video game. And nowadays you buy a video game and only 10, you have to earn stuff. It's like, if I want to try that little part of the video game, I have to unlock it. It's like, you just gave me a chore. I paid you money. Well, how dare you make it so that I have to unlock it with some work? It's like, that's not why I'm here.
Oh, yeah, look at Mr. Ray's like, video games feel like jobs to me now. There's a lot of people I know that won't even play Zelda because they're like, no, I'm not going to go gather five of those fucking weeds for you and bring it to that person in the other town. Like, what do I look like to you? Like, I have a sword and I'm ready to kick some ass. I don't want to do chores. I like doing the chores. However, I don't like how the new Zelda's like your sword breaks. Yeah. I could do without that. Oh, yeah. Like, I don't mind making some food. I don't mind, you know, walking around everywhere. It's fine if there's tedious stuff.
But, yeah, I want a weapon that just works. Like, I hate that. Yep, that was really difficult for me to deal with also. Because again, just more chores. I was like, I'm just trying to progress through the story. I'm generally in a lot of these games because I like to be the hero. I don't read a lot of books because I like to be the hero. But man, when I'm breaking weapons, I'm like, I can't dig as deep because you're making me go back and refactor. It's like refactoring. I'm like, no, I'm here to like chill or be scared. Oh, have you played many horror video games, scary video games? No. I feel, well, I don't even know what they would be like.
I feel like the first couple of Resident Evils were kind of actually scary. They were pretty scary, but we were also wussies and didn't know what scary video games were like. Yeah. Well, perhaps. I never played them. I played like the demos at like, you know, you would go to like Toys R Us and they would have the like PlayStation chain to the wall and you would go play. Yep. And you'd get eaten in like five seconds. You're like, well, the zombies are eating me because I suck at this game. So I'm just going to walk away. Yeah. I mean, maybe it was like a dork, too. So it's like. Yeah, maybe it wasn't scary, scary, but it was like, it was one of the scarier ones I had seen at the time.
And then like the, I think Resident Evil 4 was like, it's just like a shooter. Like there's nothing. It's like, it went further and further away from being scary. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, I'll let you tell me what some actual real scary games are in a second, but let me finish my thought. Yeah, go for it. So Bioshock was kind of dark and like not scary, but like stuff would jump, you know, fall from the ceiling or whatever. I loved Bioshock. Oh, yeah, that was part of a horror game. Yeah. Yeah. That game's amazing. Dude, the big daddies, when I would like walk into an area and I heard... I was like, I'm not going in.
I'm not doing it. I know what's there. And those dudes are fucking crazy. I'm not going in. Yeah, it's terrifying. That game was awesome. I love the first scene where you find that first boss and they're in there like, hey, can you please just make me pretty? I just, you know, my eyes, they just say you weren't the right color. And then my lips, they were just they were just a little bit wrong. So I'm here and I need you to fix me. And he's like, yes, I will fix you. Yeah. And you go in there and she's all super fucked up. You're like, he's an evil doctor. Get out of here. Yeah, Bioshock is so good.
I've played all of them, I think. I think we're probably due for another one at this point. It's been a while. Ooh, yeah. How are they going to, yeah. Is that a fourth or fifth? be fourth right the third was the one in the sky you had to be baptized like a mormon to get in my dad walked out of the room he walked out he was like that's the most sacrilegious thing i've ever seen i'm like i'm kind of glad my dad saw that that's just i don't know and yeah they talked about elohim and all it was packed with like very sacrilegious sky shit that yeah some people did not appreciate yes Yeah, yeah, I think that was the last one.
Another thing that's coming sometime soon, I think, is a new Fable game. Have you played those? I haven't, but I know that I would like them. It's like one of those games that just never found its way into my lap, and I never spent the time on it. I'm sure I'd like it, though. Yeah, I really liked Fable 2. That was, I don't know, 15 years ago or more? It's been a while. Okay, survival horror games. We've got to talk about a couple of awesome horror games. So I don't like being scared. I'm also... I don't even want to admit this for everyone to know about me, but I'm very jumpy and it makes so many people happy.
In fact, I was at the airport in Miami watching a TV show. And during this moment when it wasn't supposed to be scary, this knife goes through this guy's head. And I'm sitting there holding my phone with my left hand with like some wireless headphones, just kind of watching it all casually and basically throw my phone in the air. I'm like, oh, I barely catch it. I'm like, there are multiple people here that just go. That guy looked fucking stupid. And I'm so glad I saw that for my day. Like I made multiple people's day, except I didn't drop my phone. I still caught it. Anyway, OK, so I like being scared in video games because I get to leave what I'm done.
And for a long time, I would play these because there are some terrifying games out there. So I'll just name them right off the bat. Outlast is the scariest. And the quick follow up is Dead Space. And Outlast is a survival horror game. It's especially scary because you have no weapons. You still, you can't even fight. You can run. That's it. And in fact, when you run, you can look behind yourself like you're really like, oh, oh, shit, he's still there. And so you run into a room and the room will have like a closet, a bed, a desk, some lockers or basically places to hide. And so you run in there and you shut the door behind you.
You always have to shut the door behind you in this game. Because it slows them down just a little bit. So the game, every door in the game is terrifying because you can grab it and slowly open it up and peek in and just be a wuss. And then like, because it makes sense, you might see something scary in there and be like, nope. And that's the end of my turn. Here you go, buddy. You're now up. And he's like, I'm not going in there. You're like, this is the quest. The quest is going. Anyway, so you run. Once they see you and you hide. And so like, let's say you hide under the bed. You run in a room and you shut the door and you hide under the bed.
And when you crawl under the bed, your perspective is from under the bed and your character is panting and you can hear the heartbeat. So it's like. And you're just sitting there like this game is already scary. And but then guy comes in. Yeah. I can smell you, you're in here somewhere and I'm gonna find you." And you're like, oh my God, this game is terrifying. And so, like, one time, okay, so, like, I hid under the bed, and he walks up to the bed, and you're looking at his shoes, but he doesn't find you. Okay, so he leaves, and you're like, oh, my goodness, I can calm down. Let me catch my breath.
But another time, I ran into an office space, and I ran into one of five lockers. And, of course, he comes up to the lockers, and he's like, hmm... something's not right about these lockers. And he opens up the locker I'm in and just grabs me and kills me. And I'm like, that is so scary. I don't want to hide in a locker ever again. Like, how did he grab me? Um, um, Anyway, so yeah, these survival horror games, all you have in that game is a camera with batteries, and you can see in the dark if the night vision is on, which drains the batteries. So your whole, any resource is just batteries, and you salvage it just for the moments when it's pitch black, which is way too often, and you're crawling through waste and goo and your fingers get cut off.
Dude, it's the scariest game I've ever played, and it's really fun. I don't know. I enjoyed it. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I don't love scary games. So my wife really likes Phasmophobia, which is like a ghost hunting game. So you come in on like a... van right there's like four players and there's all these different things you've got like a notebook that the ghost can write in you've got like um smudge sticks you've got like um i don't know all the stereotypical like ghost looking at it this looks scary dude yeah and so like we usually play it you know around halloween because that's like fitting time to do it and yeah you're you have like five minutes i think before the ghost will start being active and attacking you know
So like if you're really, really good at the game, you can go in, find all the evidence. Like you look for a handprint, use like a UV light and you can find a handprint. That's like one piece of evidence. And so you're looking for three pieces of evidence. And when you find three, it'll tell you what kind of ghost it is. You can guess that kind of ghost and you can get out. So I'm always like running around for five minutes. And if we don't find everything, I just go out to the van because someone has to be in the van and like watching the cameras and stuff. So I sit out there. Because if you're not, they like, you're sitting there and the ghost comes up like, hey.
And then like, so you like hear something in your ear and you're like, oh my God. And then like, you know, it'll just, if you do the wrong thing, it'll come just grab you. Like its hands go in front of your face and like, yeah, it's, you can also play it in VR, which I would never do. No, that's terrible. Yeah. But my friend plays in VR and he's really tall. And so when he's walking around, he's like always on his tippy toes. Looks so silly. Yeah. Oh, man, I had a buddy who played Outlast that way, too. So every time you handed him the controller, he sprinted everywhere. He's like, I'm not scared.
I'm just trying to play it fast. And we're like, you look like the biggest wuss of all of us. And yeah, he would run right into the bad guy and then die or whatever. And he's like, this game isn't scary at all. I'm like, because you're playing it like a psycho who doesn't care if they die. I'm like, of course you're not scared. Oh, man, Dead Space, though. That one, they watched like every horror movie ever. And intentionally want it to be a horror video game. So it's not like, it's not the survival horror. This is demonic. It's jump scares out the wazoo. And it feels like that. When you play the first one, you can feel like every scene of the storyline was made from a terrifying moment of a movie.
And it's brilliant. I remember one of the scariest things was, like, right in the beginning. I also, the enemies are called necromorphs. They're all really skinny, really decrepit looking naked things. And I saw a whole bunch of necromorphs in Miami. It was hilarious. At least that's what I call them. So my wife loves that. I'm like, hey, look, a necromorph. She's like, I love it when you call them that. It was just like as someone who's nearly naked, really skinny and just looks freaky. I'm like, that's not attractive to me. That is freaky. Anyway, okay. So you're like in this level, in Dead Space, you can't just shoot things in the head.
You have to cut off their limbs or shoot them off or whatever. So usually you aim for the legs first. Then they can't move as good, but they start crawling towards you. So then you either shoot the arms off or you stomp their arms off. And then they're just like little... bodies on the ground and if you want you can step on their head and like finish them but really at that point they're immobile and it's all good and so the the game starts out and you meet your first necromorph super scary you don't even know how to beat the game at all the game is also brilliantly ui free It's one of the only games I think that has done this and it's to create a full sense of immersion.
The UI is on the back of your character's armor so your health is there. To look at the map, your character looks at a holographic map that they pull up from their hand. So the whole game is extremely immersive that way where you don't see them. Anyway, you know what I mean? Like the peripheral of the game, there's no HUD. No HUD. So no HUD. Usually games have a HUD. So anyway, you defeat your first Necromorph. You're sitting there like, This game is going to be really hard. I have to chop the limbs off of these things to beat them. That's terrifying. And so then you walk into the first hallway, you know, your little bobblehead character, like, all right, I'm in the hallway.
And then a psycho thing flashes in your mind and your eye and your whole vision envisions the hallway covered in blood and guts and a big massacre happened and people are screaming and then all of a sudden flashes back to the hallway you're looking at. which is only mildly covered in body parts and stuff. And I remember specifically there was like an arm, like a necromorph arm hanging out of an air vent right after that scene happens. You know, you're walking to it and then all of a sudden you're like hyper aware of all the body parts that are in there. And as you get close to that air vent, the arm rips in.
It like disappears. And you're like... I hate this hallway. You know, this hallway is scary and sucks. And they just keep doing that to you over and over again. They just implement the most amazing audio. They want you to play the game with headphones on. And I'm like, no, I'm not doing that. This game is way too scary already. Like, why would I do that to myself? So yeah, Dead Space 1 or 3 and Outlast have been the scariest games I've played. And I loved them for it. It was really good. Nice. Yeah. Phasmophobia also has the thing that like I feel like a lot of games have done this now where you have like in-game walkie-talkies to talk to each other and like this is very popular now yeah are they proximity based too or so if I'm standing next to you you can hear me but if not I use the walkie-talkie but the walkie-talkies don't work when the ghost is active so like if the ghost is running around then you can't so we just use discord though and can talk anyway it's like it's scary enough like like
Love that hack. Yeah, all of these games try to do that, and we're just like, just get on Discord. It's like, it's so annoying. It's a cool mechanic, I guess, and everyone's doing it, but. Yeah, the proximity chat, we did that with Leap, is that what it's called? Or what's the climb, what's the indie climber game? Peak. Peak, yeah. Did you play that? Yeah. Oh my God. Don't even get me started. Let's start it. I was here. What about peak? Tell me all about peak Robbie. Um, okay. Super fun game. Level one. Awesome. I had to play level one a lot. Cause when you're dead, you start back at level one.
Yeah. Um, and level two is like 100 X harder than, It's like, it's not a baby step harder. It's like, we introduced so many different things to where you're never, like, we never got through level two, despite trying a bunch of times. So I'm, I'm upset at like, um, you know, what are you trying to prove game developers? Like, it's a really fun game. Make it more fun for us to like, actually get to the top of stuff. It's procedurally generated. So like. It's not like you're going to be like, oh, yeah, like this, you know, very specific puzzle requires these exact skills. And this person has shown their skill by like what?
No, it's different every time. So it's like just give me a mode where it's less hard. I don't care. Like even put on like you don't get the achievements or whatever you need. Like make me look like an idiot, but make it fun. Like I want a mode where it's. just easier. Like the first level, it can get harder than the first level because that one's arguably too easy. But then level two is impossible. So I'm like, I want to play more but I can't. Yep, me and my friends played that a lot of times. We dealt with the proximity chat at first, and eventually we're like, nah, I just want to keep talking, because it sucks when you're excluded.
And we would do four people. But one time, actually, okay, so two times I made it to the second to last level, and one time me and a buddy beat it. So I have climbed to the peak of peak, at least when it was, I don't even know if it was fully out at the time. But I enjoyed that game. It was like a fun way to like hang out with friends. We're just like chatting it. And dude, of course I had like multiple friends that are just buttholes the whole time. They're just throwing the poisonous sea urchins at you. They love, my friends laughed their asses off at the banana shit. They just would put the banana underneath you and you'd slip on your ass.
And they just laugh. And you're like, dude, I'm trying to go. And I'd slip again. And they're just laughing. I'm like, dude, stop. Bro, but I can't do shit. I'm in my office. I'm like, I just got headphones on. What am I going to do to them? Yeah. Pretty funny. Pretty funny game. Yeah. We've been playing RV there yet. Have you played that? Oh, dude, I shared that with everybody. I loved it because, you know, like why smoke when I'm on business and so I don't smoke cigarettes outside of it. But I'm like, hey, I can smoke in this video game. Like they have a lot of controls dedicated to smoking, which is hilarious.
Smoking. Yeah. So funny. Oh, man. Yeah. How far y'all get? Not far. Like, so it's really fun for all the people that aren't driving. The driving is so stressful and like you have to shift with your mouse, which is like ridiculous. Like it doesn't work very easily. And I feel like the physics aren't quite right. Like there isn't weight to the RV. So if you like hit something a little wrong, the whole thing flips over. Yeah. How to make it silly. Make the physics off. Yeah. But I think, I mean, that's another one where I feel like it's super duper fun, but I need like a little bit less hard difficulty.
I don't know. It doesn't stop us from playing them, but it's just like, I'm never going to beat it. Maybe that's the point. I'm not supposed to beat it. I'm not the good gamer who plays these, but I don't know. Yeah, it's okay. Yeah, I don't need to beat all my video games, but oh man, we went from our entrepreneurial childhoods to our lazy asses on chairs. That's hilarious. Hey, we're not lazy. There's agents doing stuff the whole time. Oh, dude, I sold a game. I had a game and sold it. Yeah, it was called Die Ants Die. And it's funny. OK, so this is around the dead space one time. Do you remember?
Here's a throwback. The Blackberry Playbook. No. BlackBerry made a tablet play called the Playbook. And I'm not going to lie, it's actually a good device. And they would give one to you free if you were a developer who built an app on it. Okay, so this happened a lot back in the day, the Palm Pre. I really wanted the Palm Pre. The Palm Pre was sweet, dude. My favorite thing about that, that's still the coolest closing app experience ever because you could pull the app. You know, like an iOS now, you go to the app switcher and it shows all your apps and then you fling them away. You throw them.
In Palm Pre, you would pull it down and it would make the sound of a rubber band, just like in Angry Birds. And then you'd let go and it would go. And I was like, oh yeah. It had the like charging stone too, right? Ooh, I don't know. What's a charging stone? Like that you set it on to charge? It was like the first, like, it wasn't induction, I don't think. Let me see. Maybe I'm wrong. Oh, it was like a wireless charging scenario? Yeah. I don't know. I'll look it up and see. That was a good one. That was a webOS, and webOS was a web-based operating system before Firefox's web-based operating system was.
Yeah, the Palm Touchstone is an early inductive wireless charging dock designed for the Palm Pre. Yeah. So I remember seeing that at Best Buy, like back when you, my dad and I used to go to Best Buy all the time. So I would go. Hell yeah. We would go to Olive Garden and Best Buy, like on Sundays. That's actually kind of awesome, dude. I love it. Yeah. And so I remember seeing that there and I was like, huh. This is cool. But yeah, I never had one. Yeah, pump free. Okay, anyway, I've built apps for so many different devices. I should... I should make a memoir of all the different devices that I've...
Anyway, just kidding. Okay, so the playbook, I got a BlackBerry playbook because I made an app. I built the app using Flex, which was also ActionScript 3.0. So it was the typed ActionScript. And the app was called Die Ants Die. And you killed ants on your screen. They would crawl around your screen and you saw how many you could kill within the time limit. It was just like a, I wanted a frantic tapper. So the game was invented based off an interaction I wanted people to do, which was just, and it was my game and no one was telling me what to do. And I was a designer developer on it. And so they farted when you killed them because it's my, and blood.
So blood and farts came out of all the ants. It got me a free playbook and I think I made, oh man, I never broke a thousand dollars on it, but it was on iOS and Android and playbook because the Adobe SDK could produce apps that ran in those different environments with the Flash runtime. Nice. I love that they gave you a free device because I feel like. This has been a problem that I've complained about and maybe none of this matters anymore with AI, but like, you know, okay, Photoshop, I guess it's now a monthly subscription for Photoshop. It used to be like, you know, the cheap one was like $700 and then it probably went up from there or something like, I don't even know.
And so everyone just stole it. Right. But it's like, um, If you want to have a job in something and you need some software or hardware to do it to learn, why does it cost so much? Like, how would you ever break into that if you don't have it? Like, I feel like that should be a thing, you know, like Apple should be giving away Vision Pros because nothing exists for them because no one has them. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. So, um, cause if you want people to have nice apps to use on your thing, to give them a good experience, people have to be able to develop. I guess you can develop probably on a Mac and like emulate it or something, but it wouldn't be the same experience.
Um, Yeah, and even emulators are notoriously subpar. iOS emulators are great, but they are still not realistic. And the Android emulators still to this day, I don't know how many Android emulators I have downloaded. Even all the off-brand variants that promise performance still suck. It's crazy. You have to be on-device. And so that was the deal. It's like, yeah, you need an iPhone. If you're going to be an iPhone app developer, you can't entirely rely on simulators. You need the device. And Android is even worse. And Android is even worse because they had a proliferation of devices. So you couldn't even just have one.
You needed to have many. It's brutal. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I haven't cared about any of that in a long time. I'm sure some people do care about that still, but... Yeah, I remember our device walls at multiple companies I was at. Did you ever have a device wall? Oh, yeah. I mean, so we never cared as much about mobile at this company, but we cared. We had to support like IE 5, 6, 7, and 8, I think. And so we had a machine that had each. And you would have to go like load your website on each of them. And then there would be all of these crazy bugs because it's, you know, each IE was wildly different and terrible.
Yeah. So that was super fun. There were even more bugs in like the newer ones, I remember. Like weird stuff. Yeah, IE9 came out. They were like, don't worry, we're not IE8, we're IE9. I was like, ew, but you broke more stuff. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's bad. Oh. That was fun. Safari became a, yeah. It's a lost art. Like, there's no debugging anymore. Like, I don't know, man. I miss hard problems. That was blind debugging, too. Those dev tools were not present. You had to guess and check. This was like the PHP white screen of death, dude. I remember trying to debug iPad apps that I was making, too, that were in WebViews.
There was no way to inspect them until Adobe came out with the first thing. Oh my goodness. Can I remember what it was called Adobe? It was before Cordova, but Oh, I almost had the name. Uh, Adobe. Oh my goodness. This is gonna bug me. Does it have app in the name? No, uh, Adobe, um, PhoneGap before I even look at PhoneGap. Do you remember PhoneGap? Yes. Yeah, that actually let you see into the brain of the device you were deploying to because it was otherwise opaque. Can you believe we dealt with that? We would deploy code to a completely opaque thing and then just be like, oh, failed. That was one minute of my wasted life.
Let me try this one code change and deploy again. All right, one minute later. We're back at that now. You prompt the AI. Is it going to fail? Yeah. No, it failed. It failed. This is why you gotta have multiple AIs. Or you write the loops, and the loops have it do a self-check so that you're not the one doing the checking anymore. At least that's what I keep trying to do. I'm like, I don't wanna manually verify anymore. I want to manually verify once, and to establish what needs to be verified, and then tell an LLM to do it and put it on a loop. And I'm like, you're not done until this shit passes.
You need to pass the test, and you need to take a screenshot that looks like this, and you should expect this type of behavior to work. Otherwise, loop forever, sucka. because you're just a machine. Yeah. We had a fun moment today at work where I guess maybe everything Microsoft touches was down for a second. So we use Copilot for our AI, like OpenCode runs the Copilot All of it goes to CoPilot. So it was like, try again in two days. And we were like, what? And I guess it was just, that's what it says if it can't hit the server or something. It's like, I went to npmjs.com, so I knew something was up with Microsoft because I went there and it was like,
not you couldn't even load the site and i was like whoa so github was down and well i guess github is microsoft oh so actually github was up ironically but like npmjs and github copilot and like a lot of microsoft services that probably it was probably ultimately you know aws's fault or something they did they broke something that broke everything everyone uses and um i don't know i didn't i didn't look into it because i just started working again but Yeah, that's, I was like, hey, this is down. I'm going to go outside and put up some, I told you about my like mosquito spray death machine. Yes.
I was working on that for a half hour. How'd it go? Did you, have you tested it yet? Your Nats and Mosquito destroy machine. Yeah. Yeah. So I haven't tested it with chemicals in it yet, but I tried out the sprayers for it. It's like halfway put up. So I'm not done putting up all the sprayers. while I was doing it. So we have these gnats that like bite you. I guess there's certain gnats that will bite you too. Dude, move. That sounds terrible. A whole cloud of biting gnats. I'm like, get the fuck out of there. Don't bite me. What? But they fly onto my legs and bite me. And, like, so sometimes when I'm mowing and there's a lot of them out there, they all, like, there's, like, swarms around my legs.
And the way they bite is they, it's not like a mosquito that's, like, precision. They, like, slash into your leg. Ew. So they're, like, putting gashes all over you, and it's very itchy. Yeah, it's not great. So they were doing that while I was putting up these sprayers. I'm like, I'm going to fuck you guys up so hard here in a little bit. Bring it on. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I realized that I can run it around like my deck as well. And so I'm going to have really good coverage for like the backyard and just demolish them all like once a day, probably. I don't know. We'll see. I will report back when it's done.
I love it. There's like a there's like a running joke in our house where my wife has so many hilarious things that she says or that happens to her that I'm like, you need a comic. This is an entry in a comic like people would love. So I'm right now going, Robbie, you need a comic. You need I can see you right now. uh just like wily coyote setting up all this shit you're just like you've got an acme box of like fucking poison and you've got an acme box of all these there you're like you try to penetrate my backyard now suckas you know and then all of a sudden you've got all these cuts on your leg and you're like i lost um yeah and then like after you spray all the stuff like you're done and like you see them like making their way back in yeah
Yeah. And they spray you. Right. That's like the final frames. You're just like, oh, fuck. That's so funny, dude. OK, so I'm having like flashbacks drinking this Glen Morangi, a tale of ice cream to the two bar Amaretto whiskey. And it's so strong. This like this taste memory is taste memory thing. I've never heard anyone say that. Yeah, I think so. How could it not? There's smell memory. Yeah, because 80% of taste is smell anyway. So the smell memory would apply. But yeah, let me pour a little more. We'll talk about this whiskey. Awesome. So it's a Highland single malt scotch, but it tastes like the bourbon two-bar amaretto.
And I was very confused. Like constantly tasting it going amaretto, very little scotch and I was tasting bourbon and it was driving me nuts. So then, like, I'm looking at the front of the bottle here and it says bourbon casks. Mm-hmm. And maybe the vanilla is coming through to me as amaretto or so the two bar that I'm talking about, this is a Seattle distillery. They have a amaretto barrel bourbon that I thought was really good when I first tried it. And then the rest of the bottle got really gross as I kept going. That's not gross. I was just like, I was like, at first I was like, that's interesting.
Amaretto. I don't love amaretto, but like the creaminess to this bourbon is kind of good. And then it dwindled as the bottle emptied. I'm feeling the same exact sensations here with this Highland single malt bourbon cask vanilla scotch. Yeah, so it's bourbon casks and also specially toasted high vanillin casks, which I guess imparts vanilla flavors. What is amaretto? Now I gotta know. Isn't amaretto like almond extract? Or am I wrong on that? They both are sweet and nutty and are popular in baking and cocktails and coffee. You can infuse amaretto with vanilla. Yeah, amaretto is a sweet almond flavor Italian liqueur.
Yeah, it's almond, so it's like almond extract, basically. Almond extract, which is very vanilla-y and nutty. Yeah, so they're quite similar. Okay, almond extract tastes nothing like almonds, by the way. This is a big sticking point that I have. I don't like almond extract, but I love almonds. What? Interesting. I don't love any variant types of milk. I'm like, just give me the regular milk. But there's an almond milk with a little bit of added vanilla that I've used for baking. And I'm like, that's definitely delicious. Is it Califia Farms? I don't know. But that sounded like a warrior until you said there was a farm.
Yeah, we used to get that one. It was, I think, originally only at Whole Foods, but it's like it's everywhere now. They make a good fake eggnog. So eggnog is one of my favorite drinks, but it's, you know, 150 calories for a half a cup. And so. Oh, really? Yeah. I always drink a full glass. Mm-hmm. So the almond one, I think, is like a third of the calories. And so if you're making lattes, it tastes the exact same. So if you make like an eggnog latte, it tastes the same. So would recommend. Nice. Anyway. Okay. So yeah, what are you going to rate this, dude? Because I'm not going to lie. Like, it's good.
It's very sweet, though. And I don't tend to want sweet right now. Yeah, it's not scotchy. It's our rating system, zero to eight tentacles, zero being the I'm going to say, I don't know. I'm pleased with it because I don't love traditional scotch as much. I'm going to say six and a half. I think it's pretty good. Cool. I will admit there is a subtle citrus to it. I don't know where it gets it from. But I'm very much reminded of the... Yeah, a little fruitiness. It is way more bourbon to me than scotch, which is fine. I mean, that's the genre. Well, actually, that's not the genre it's trying to pitch.
So I'm a little confused. I'm drinking it. I'm confused. I keep having case memory of something else, but none of the like scotch process, no peat, no smoke. It's like they just took the, the malted barley, uh, clear juice and put it in some interesting barrels. It was kind of what they did. That makes me want to give it a, a worse score. Robbie, uh, I was going to, I was going to give it like a 5.5. And then now I'm like, I hate what you just said so much. Um, yeah. How dare you take something that could have been good and you bastardized it into this thing. I'm going to give this a, I can't give it a five because it's not terrible.
I'm just not, I'm curious how the rest of the bottle is going to go. That's the middle of the road. Okay, well then I'll do five. It's a five. It does have a cool twisty spiral at the bottom in the bottle. So they're trying some stuff. The box was cool too. Branding was cool. Oh man, although my kids wanted it. They were like, Dad, you're going to have ice cream. And I'm like, no, it's not ice cream. I'm like, oh, great. Am I just a child? I'm a 40-year-old child. Oh, whoa. Mr. Ray says Califia or whatever sucks. He sure does. I'm going to look up the Califia bottle to see if I know what the hell that is.
Oh, don't Google that. Oh, it's a C. Okay, not K. That is what I've had. Yes. Yeah, I like it. The vanilla one's good. The plain one's not good. I'll bake with it, but nothing else about it do I want at all. Oh, yeah. The Califia almond milk. That's what... Okay, so I'll tell you what I bake with it. I bake a Dutch baby slash puffy pancake slash hootenanny. Do you know what hootenanny is? No. the fun word is what it is it's a super fun word anyway to be talked about another time i cook one every saturday for the family um it's a a traditional um dutch pancake um anyway okay it's really good with that uh very vanilla-y almond milk in there as a substitute uh half part because you still need to bake um
Anyway. Yeah. Dude, this was fun hearing about all your band stuff. I feel like we skipped over part of your, like, later, your post-punk phase. We didn't get into it. We'll have to figure it out. We'll have to get into how we got into web development after that, I guess. For next time or some other time. Well, yeah, we are well over time. So, yeah, thanks, everyone, for hanging out with us. Hopefully you enjoyed this completely eclectic random stuff we were talking about. And we'll get back to your regularly scheduled nothing but AI next time. Congratulations, citizen. You are now prepared to face the challenges of the modern technological world.
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